Love and MMORPGs

To change the pace that Epic Slant has been taking lately I thought I’d talk about something that often goes over looked in MMOs. You hear stories more and more these days about couples that met in game, fell in love, and married in reality. You hear even more stories about couples in game that cause nothing but drama and headache for their guilds. More often then not you hear about how you can’t find any real connection with others in MMOs and that to think otherwise is folly. Why not discuss why I think that is wrong?

There are a fairly large amount of players that see themselves as nothing more than an island in an MMO. They might play with some real life friends or associates but they fall into the “this is just a game and you’re not a real person” club quite often. They don’t treat others like actual people because the monitor gives them anonymity and confidence. They might be rude or selfish and we’ve all ran across a few of them. It is no wonder that this group thinks that nothing real could ever be conceived in an MMO. They simply can’t see past the character.

On the opposite side of things you have another group of players that sees people first and characters separate. This isn’t a bad thing but it can lead to a lot of bruised feelings when they take the things that others do too seriously. It is easy to have your day ruined by a “person” in general chat when you don’t realize that to them you’re nothing more than an NPC. These players do leave themselves open to make more connections though.

A major advantage that MMOs have is that they bring people together who likely share a few common interests. I most certainly wouldn’t attempt to characterize an average MMO player but it is safe to say that any two at least have one thing in common, they like the same game. Beyond that they may share a few more things. Given the global nature of the games we play, someone who lives in a small town that barely has anyone interested in “fantasy” might connect better with fellow players than locals. Beyond shared interests MMOs often give two people extended exposure to each other. You might chat with someone local for an hour or two a day. On an MMO you have the opportunity to talk to them for as long as you stay on line. This leads to the frequent occurrence that you chat more with your online buddy than one who lives nearby without realizing it.

MMOs also offer players the traditional introduction without the cold sell. Instead of walking up to someone in a bar and dropping a line you just offer a spot in your group. An interested party will then come by. Instant introduction! There are also no pictures so opinions must first be made on player skill and class knowledge. They’re also made off chatting and talking. This can mean players make attachments deeper than skin first. While that may not endure it at least gets past the initial meeting. That can be important.

In my experience it is very easy to make connections virtually. I see all the advantages as to why and don’t have the attitude that people online aren’t “real.” I’ve seen my feelings trampled a few times because of this but ultimately it is worth while. It all comes down to whether or not you’re willing to work at and nurture an online relationship (friend or otherwise) like you would use a real one. I’m also a hopeless romantic though. What do you think? Are MMO loves or friendships as real as the ones we have daily?