One reality that almost any hardcore and lifetime MMO player will have to face is that sooner or later they will not be able to keep up the pace they’re used to anymore. In saying that I’m certain a lot of my high school and college age readers will wave a hand at that and say, “No way Ferrel. I’m a hardcore raider for life!” Unfortunately, I remember thinking the exact same thing. The truth of the matter is that sooner or later the majority of us will have other responsibilities creep up on us. That might be a career, a spouse, a child, higher education or a combination of all those things together. Acceptance of this fact is the first step but, to be honest, I’m having a hard time with the transition.
The analogy that I like to use is that when you step down from hardcore it is like retiring from the NFL. Former players have numerous stories about great victories and proud moments. They talk about them in a way that lets you know how passionate they are and how important that time in their life was to them. It also hints to me just how much they dream about going back to those moments, even if their bodies can no longer meet the physical requirements to do so.
Aging as an MMO player is quite similar but, at the same time, quite different. I’ve not lost my ability to lead a competitive guild. My skills as a player have not declined. The talent I had for reading an encounter and developing a strategy for it is still present in my brain. What I have lost is the ability to devote myself fully to a game and to a guild. When I was in college, I had copious amounts of free time to give. More importantly, however, I was willing to make great sacrifices in my life to be the guild leader I was. In all honesty I’m just not willing to do so anymore. Even knowing that, however, still doesn’t make the transition any easier.
These days I’ve been enjoying the MMOs I play a lot more simply due to the fact that I don’t feel like I have to play them. If I don’t log in I’m not letting down a group of people. At most I’m only disappointing a buddy or two. On the guild side of things, I’m barely responsible for anyone else but me and that is quite refreshing. Each day isn’t a constant struggle to make all the right choices. There are numerous advantages to leaving the hardcore life behind but why do I still feel like that retired NFL quarterback watching his old team play on Sunday?
When it comes to MMOs, I don’t believe we truly ever make the transition. A hardcore player is a hardcore player. It doesn’t matter that I already have a few “super bowl” rings. I don’t want to sit on the side lines. It drives me nuts when I group with someone who makes no effort to learn their class. I am bothered when I see other guild leaders making mistakes that I know are detrimental to their guild (usually because I already made them once). My ego takes a hit every time I log in and I’m not max level and raiding. Others are progressing at what seems to be an impossible pace while I’m walking in circles trying to find a men’s room in a sorority house. It just goes to show you that you can take the wolf out of the wild but you can’t take the wild out of the wolf.
I can accept my newfound status even if I am reluctant to do so and, as with most things, there is a silver lining. Great retired NFL players usually end up as commentators or, in some cases, coaches and I have the opportunity to do both with Epic Slant. If I can’t live the dream anymore myself, I can help younger players do it more successfully!
Consider discussing “Transitioning from hardcore is difficult” on the new Epic Slant Forum!
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I started gaming when I was already married and had kids, so I never knew “hardcore”. If I played anymore than I do now then I would be seriously worried if I have an addiction. I think there is formula for what hardcore is.
Oh you’re absolutely right. When I was playing hardcore I was probably spending 40 hours a week in game actually playing and 20 more out of game administrating the guild. It was less than healthy.
I think MMOs are less addicting and more habit forming, if you know what I mean. I know I could give up MMOs at the drop of the hat if I wanted to and, yet, I still feel like something’s missing if I’m not actively playing one. You’re right though. +1 and /agree for Ferrel Wisdom.
I think habit forming is a very elegant way to put it actually. I can indeed now give up on an MMO without much effort. I’d have to find something else to do though. I’m not big into TV and I have a lot of roots in this community. It would really peculiar to just take off.
As someone who played along side of you in the “NFL” days I feel I must comment =) I think you hit the nail on the head with what is the issue now. The lack of wanting to put forth the effort to be back in the saddle again so to speak. It’s kinda like when you take an extended break from gaming for something (moving, family, kids, finances whatever) and you get used to doing other things with your time. When you go back to the game, you think of all the things you were most recently doing with the time you’re now using to game. The drive dimishes somewhat but never dissapears.
In my case specifically, I have learned to juggle kids and gaming. I do not have a “job” that pays but I take care of my kids and that alone keeps me extremely busy during most days. I used to want to play ALL the time. Literally… ALL the time. Now, I enjoy playing in the evenings after dinner when the kids are settled and/or in bed and Anarchous and I can relax and focus on what we are doing. Long gone are the days where I feel I need to play while feeding a child and/or auto following while getting dinner ready etc. etc.
With that being said, I still find time to be able to game almost 4-5 hours a night if I want. Does that make me hardcore or just adept at getting things done so I can sit down and play? I do miss the reward for putting forth the effort and getting to see end game content. Will it ever be a 6 night a week thing for me again, probably not.
I really dislike the term hardcore, because like most things, it’s relative to your situation. To someone who has no job or responsibilites and can play 20 hours a day, they’re hardcore. Another person may work 2 jobs have a family and only 3 hours a night of free time and use that to game. That can also be considered hardcore. It’s all a frame of mind and less of a time commitment to me. You either do or you don’t.
And stop living in the glory days! Make a scrapbook and look at it fondly from time to time =P Starla has all the pictures i’m sure LOL! I jest of course =)
Personally I consider having three children a full time job. You might not get a pay check but you’re working hard! I think the term you’re looking for is a “professional” player. We still play in a way that is skilled and mature. We just don’t go out and give up our lives to do things.
I know I shouldn’t dwell on it but a part of me does. I miss being at the head of a large group of people achieving great things. Even if they are fictional. The whole thing really is silly. I’ve been achieving great things in life lately and yet I miss the activities that were essentially fictitious!
Hardcore: It’s not just a raid schedule, it’s a Way of Life!
(As in, it’s not just playing 40 hours a week, it’s how you approach the game mentally and emotionally. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, either. You can be mentally and emotionally hardcore and still lead a balanced life… but it’s tricky.)
I consider being married to be a full time job. Any children just make it fuller time. (That’s not a complaint.
) And, well… when it comes down to it, my family is the most important thing to me. If I have to step back from my old gaming achievements, it’s just because they were supplanted by something better. I can live with that.
Very well put!
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I believe the tern hardcore also applies to efficent
I am not Hardcore any more.. because of work, school and family. I still play when I can, but when I do I am very efficent. I know what I have to do, how to do it, and have goals to complete.
I can honestly say before when I was “Hardcore” I would play a ton, was efficent and also had time to be social. Now adays I don’t have time to screw around… ie looking for a group for 4 hours like in EQ…. I’ll just do it myself!
On the other hand, I love to group, but in that it becomes really dependent on my group. You suck or take forever, I will do something by myself.
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